Musings Of First Time Parents – The First Month with a Newborn

The first month with little Arren has been a complete whirlwind.  It’s somehow been the shortest yet longest time of my life.  I personally didn’t know my body could run on such little sleep and still be able to care for someone else so well, even be slightly entertaining.  I mean the songs you start to sing once you have a baby will have you think maybe you should go into a music career? but we all know that’s just lack of sleep talking.

Carl and I just can’t believe how such a little person can dislike him so much.  Little Arren has claimed his mommy and just shows his dislike for Carl the whole time.  Arren will also not be fooled into being held by his dad when he’s wearing a mommy milk covered shirt or blanky.  He’s too smart for that!  We’ve decided to stockholm syndrome our son into liking Carl.  Every time I nurse Arren, Carl creepily lurks and forces Arren to make eye contact with him,  believe me Arren hates it! Soon this little guy will be forced to love his dad….

It doesn’t help that Carl gave Arren the biggest fright of his little life so far!  By laughing!  We were watching SNL and Carl laughed so hard that, little Arren went into purple screaming and wouldn’t stop for so long!  I finally managed to calm him down, but we decided that Alec Baldwin is way to funny to watch around Arren.

So here are some of our musings of new parents.  Please note these are honest musings, meant to be amusing.  We love Arren a lot, and he made our lives better and complete, but man is it hard!

MUSINGS OF NEW PARENTS

 

  1. Do not throw away any ugly blankets or outfits that you get from colleagues, family or friends. You can use these to wipe up pee or poop or use as a changing mat cover; just because you are busy changing the diaper doesn’t mean that baby has finished peeing.
  1. You as a new parent know better than any parent before you. The internet is your friend.
  1. Everything can be made into a song.
  1. An exercise ball is a lifesaver for bouncing. Babies love to bounce, don’t you dare stop bouncing.
  1. You will get pee and poo on you. Boys are gross.  I’ve turned my back for a second only to have had pee on my back and hair.
  1. You will talk about poo a lot. Like all the time.  This is your new life.
  1. You wouldn’t have guessed that such a little person can go through so much laundry and that your laundry has quadrupled.  Drowning in laundry everyday.
  1. Sometimes white noise is too white and your baby just want’s some rap music to console him.
  1. There will be a moment when you think you have finally gotten the hang of it and then your baby will wake up, scream in your face, like he has never seen you before, and be inconsolable.
  1. There will be a moment when you feel like giving up and that everything is too much and then your baby will give you a fleeting smile( around one month) and then it makes everything worth it.  Your baby is a sadist.
  1. You will do everything possible to get that smile again. You will be silly, you will beg, you will negotiate.
  1. After dancing with your baby and bouncing for two hours, you think he is finally asleep, so you put him down, only for him to wake up and to start the process again.
  1. You will lie and tell people your baby sleeps great, not mentioning that it happens about two nights a week.
  1. Babies want constant entertainment, even when they aren’t able to show appreciation, they want to walked around and have everything explained to them.
  1. You will get to know every corner of your house.
  1. Your baby is now your exercise equipment, and only gets heavier with time.
  1. When you air dry your baby, you will probably end up getting pee or poo on you.
  1. The first bath time, is one of the scariest moments of your life.  You have no idea what to expect.
  1. The first month is all about surviving, you will be sleep deprived, you will turn on each other.
  1. Sleep when they sleep, we haven’t, but you should.
  1. Colic is a real thing and sometimes it just happens, regardless of what you eat and don’t eat.
  1. You will google everything to find out if it is normal, and then be terrified of IDS.
  1. Your baby’s first outing will be nerve racking, a car trip can get your baby to sleep, but a noise in a mall can wake him up super quickly.

 

My home birth story : The Fast Birth of Arren Yuki

The birth of Arren sure will be a memorable one.  This little guy has had spunk since inside the womb.  From taking his sweet time to get out of the breech position, making his mommy crawl around on a carpet every day, doing obscene poses to nudge him into the right position.  He eventually decided to flip into the right position for birth after that it was all smooth sailing until my due date and he decided  that he was just so comfy in the womb that he just did not want to come meet us! This little guy has some serious attitude and we just love him for it.

My due date came and went, and I started realising, that baby will come when baby is ready! I tried all the little labour inducing tricks, with no luck at all and decided to just be patient.  Until….the new year came rolling in and I still had no baby?! Even my midwife was getting worried and asked if it was time we tried the castor oil method.  I was really apprehensive of taking castor oil, because I just wanted baby to be completely ready to meet us and not have any problems once he was out.  The night before we saw and felt the baby doing his practice breathing, and I just felt like taking the castor oil would just not be right.  We scheduled an appointment with the midwife for the next day, but I just knew that baby would be here soon.

On 2 January 2017 we watched a show in bed and fell asleep.  I was actually having such a lovely sleep dreaming about essential oils when at 2:05 am 3 January,  I woke up to my water having broken.  Man, it was such a weird feeling.  I just remember getting woken up and saying “oooh”.  Carl woke up ( hes been on high alert for weeks and every sound I made would put him in “It’s  go time” mode) and asked me whats wrong, as I walked to the loo,  I say walk, but it was more of a weird wobble, trying not to dirty everything in the beginning…I told him my water broke, we both could just not stop smiling as we knew it was baby time soon.  I decided to take a shower and get myself cleaned up as I prepared for what I thought would be a marathon labour.

We went downstairs had some tea, while I prepared snacks and treats for the midwives and Carl.  At this point I had no contractions…..As we talked, while drinking tea, I kept bouncing on my exercise ball and then….my water broke again……….this time with even more force…..I was so shocked, firstly because I just changed my clothes and secondly because my water broke again?!

I went upstairs to go change again and ran down only to have MORE water come out…..at this point I just couldn’t believe how much water was in my body…. and how much clothes I’ve gone through without any contractions.  At 3:15 am contractions started.  I downloaded this contraction timer app and it was just the best thing ever! It gave Carl something to do, without me hating on him for asking stupid questions.  We called our midwife and we all decided she could wait a little bit before coming over..I could still easily talk through contractions and we were all preparing for the long haul.

I asked Carl to bring me two blocks of ice I ate one without a problem and threw the other one at Carl because it wasn’t a good size…..Yeah, labour brings out the monster in you.

The contractions were getting more and more intense. so I decided to get some relief from the pain in the shower….at one point I wanted to live in the shower, we called our midwife and told her its time to start heading over.  I still didn’t feel like I was going to have the baby any time soon.

Soon after that everything started feeling way more intense, I remember thinking if I still have 5 – 12 hours left of this labour I’m just not going to make it, the sweet, sweet release of painkillers were looking pretty good to me right then.  I kept thinking transition would be way more intense. so I didn’t even realise I was in the transition stage at that point.

Carl called the midwife again at that point because he was getting freaked out by my intense labour grunts……..I felt an insane need to push and felt down only to feel baby’s head.

I felt my entire body felt relieved and I just had this natural instinct that washed over me.  As I shouted at Carl that the baby is here.  He decided it was time to phone the midwife again to tell her what I said.  I rushed out of the shower and felt like I needed to push.  I pushed down once and felt the baby’s head coming out, I kept thinking I’m not stopping until his head is out.  I screamed at a shocked Carl to get a towel as he ran the wrong way,  I shouted again that its behind him.  I told him to get ready for the baby as I gave one more push.  Carl caught baby Arren at 4:20 am.

 

We were both so shocked at what just happened that we just sat there looking at our perfect baby that had a good cry and stopped as soon as he was in my arms.  We just sat there crying saying how beautiful he is for what felt like an eternity……after the shock wore off I realised I was in a squat position not knowing what to do now…..we were both trying to figure out the placenta cord and if I could sit on it or not.  We decided that staying in that position was safer.

Carl went to open the door for the midwives and a whole wave of relieve washed over me they instantly made me feel calm and relaxed.  I was so happy to see them because I just didn’t know what to do next….I mean you plan for your baby not the placenta?

They helped me get up, made the bed extra comfy for me and baby and got us settled.  They gave me angelica drops to help get the placenta out, but I was just so done with pushing.  I was on one chilled out boat that would have ripped out the placenta at this time just so I wouldn’t have to push anymore.

I got into the squatting position and the placenta just dropped out.

 

He came out a whopping 3.89kg/8 pounds! 55 cm /21 inches tall and a head size that felt way bigger of 35 cm.  He also got a 10/10 on his apgar score! Our healthy little chub monkey.

Hes just been pure bliss to have around.  Its been hard at times, but everything is just worth it to see his little face.

We decided on the name Arren Yuki, before we ever started trying to have a baby.  We actually have names ready for all our future children.  Yeah we are those people!  Arren means mountain warrior and Yuki means snow in Japanese.  Our little baby was conceived in Ireland and the mountains that surround this beautiful city made our hearts race, and finally made us feel like we found the perfect home for us, in the most beautiful country to us.  We chose Yuki as his second name because we were looking for snow all over Dublin and finally found it walking through Tick Knock forest, it was around that time we conceived little Arren. Japanese people also believe that your name reveals a part of your soul so our little snowflake will always be something special to us.

I never want to forget the day my heart grew so much bigger and that’s why I’m sharing it here.

P.S eating 6 dates a day really did give me a fast labour.

P.P.S If you’re looking for the most amazing midwife and assistant in Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa, the world.  You should definitely contact Marianne at spiritual birth! From the beginning she made me feel at ease and helped me have an amazing pregnancy and birth.  From what she suggests you eat during pregnancy to all her helpful tips on supplements she was just amazing.  Check out her website here.

You can’t be pregnant forever…..but it sure feels like it.

Pregnancy is a funny thing.  For some, they just hate pregnancy from the get go, for me? I’ve really loved being pregnant.  Until my due date came and all of a sudden it felt like I’ve been pregnant for a lifetime.  Its hard waiting for baby when you’re constantly getting pestered from EVERYONE; asking if you’ve had the baby, why haven’t you had the baby and that the baby keeps getting bigger the longer he cooks inside.  I’ve been surprisingly calm throughout everyone’s little remarks and just kept saying baby will come when baby wants to come, but man, its starting to feel like I’ve got a 30 year old living inside me that just doesn’t want to move out and expects me to serve it  whatever it wants while I get kicked and punched the whole time.

I’m still here and I’m still waiting for baby, I’ve now tried all the natural methods for inducing baby, just to give baby a little nudge, but alas baby isn’t ready to face the big world yet, so I’m going to give baby the time he needs to keep on cooking.   This will not last forever and I’m so eager to meet my little baby, but right now I will enjoy the last bits of this pregnancy.   Even if I feel like a small bus with a really odd shaped belly button.

^^ We all need the cliche baby bump holding pic..Right?

^^ baby makes 3

^^ We will just lovingly stare at bunny until we have baby.