Planning a Family When The Timing Isn’t Perfect

We started planning our family when the timing wasn’t right and it was the best thing we could have ever done. Today we all wait for the right time to start doing things, we plan everything so meticulously waiting for just the perfect moment, but in reality there is never a perfect moment.  

Most people would have called us crazy, we decided we were ready for a family and decided to stop not trying to have a baby.  We thought that, because everyone we knew took around a year to conceive we would have a baby by the next year, boy were we wrong!  As soon as we started trying, we conceived little Arren.  We came to South Africa without a place to stay or medical aid/insurance, which wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because you have to be on a medical scheme for a year, before they cover anything maternity related.

We planned our family when the time wasn’t perfect, but it was the perfect time for us.  Why? because, there really isn’t a perfect time.   I never wanted to make a pros and cons list when it came to my children, just think about how you would feel if you found out your husband made a list about you, it just doesn’t feel good.  It’s always bummed me out when people speak about children like they are financial burdens, instead of the little bundles of joy they are.

When we decided to start our family we started making a plan, working a little bit harder, they make you realize you can actually save money and really figure things out.  We were willing to make the sacrifices to have our family.  Children are a special gift, and bring so much happiness in even the most sleep deprived night.

Surprisingly enough, I was never the type of person that thought of being a mother, I never in my wildest dreams thought I was mature enough or even nurturing enough to care for a little person, even during pregnancy, I started having some panicked filled moments wondering what the heck am I doing, but all my worries disappeared when little Arren was born.   The love that washed over me when I held his little body for the first time, was a different love than I ever experienced.  It made me realize that I want to give him more, more love, more affection.  I never want him to wonder if he’s loved or if I’m proud of him.  He will always feel like he is special in his own way, he made me a mother, even when we have other children.  I want to treat all my children the same, but different, nurturing their talents and keep them working on the things they want to accomplish.

Having children at a time that wasn’t perfect, turned out to be a perfect time for us.  It might not work for everyone, but it worked for us.  They make you find the good in situation, make you smile in a bad moment and make you want to be the best version of yourself.

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