When your inner mama bear comes out, no one is safe, not even your husband.
All mothers have it in us. The mama bear that broods on the inside, waiting to be unleashed at any moment, when we feel like we need to protect our baby. I’ve experienced this feeling often now that I’ve become a mother and I feel terrible that my husband has had to be on the receiving end of my extreme hulking out moments. This unbelievable force washes over my body that says “I will do anything for the good of my baby”, it’s this natural instinct that’s hard to control.
I sometimes feel sorry for future Arren and any person that’s going to break his heart, because this mama is going to need to be held back, before I slap someone. In those times I know that Carl will most likely be my rock and that he will always bring me back down to earth, when I’m floating on my cloud of anger, but what happens when it’s your husband that brought out the mama bear in you?
I’ve found myself having to control the mama bear within, but even with all the control you never want to see your baby get hurt. A couple of weeks ago my mama bear instinct came out way too strong. In all fairness, I was being a rockstar and was brushing things off, telling Carl it would be okay, until I went into the room to find my baby covered in blood.
Covered in blood, it looked like Arren was a warrior he had blood all over his face and his finger would just not stop bleeding….Now, I feel like I acted how any normal mother would act…. I was knocked down with shock, grabbed MY baby and asked what he did to him, and said some things I regretted almost instantly. I couldn’t believe this monster could be the father of my beautiful baby boy. Let me explain, Arren is a mover and a shaker. He hates sitting still, which results in a big fight every time we want to cut his nails, when trying to cut Arren’s nails he accidentally cut Arren’s finger instead. This bear came out from inside of me that made me comfort my baby while banishing Carl away to go get some band aids. During this time I somehow managed to calm myself down and see that it wasn’t that bad, instead of thinking I made my poor husband feel bad. When Carl returned I apologized for my behaviour. I know I should have handled it better, but seeing your baby with so much blood on them shocked me. Later on Carl even said he was trying to cover up the blood and wipe it off before I came into the room.
Flash forward to the day we took Arren to the beach. Yes, this photo looks really cute, but 30 seconds later Arren face planted directly into the sand. The bear came out again, when I saw his supposed spotter, grab his one arm pulling it a bit too hard, now this has happened just a week ago when I told Carl to grab Arren with both hands, instead of pulling him so roughly. That day he wasn’t allowed to hold Arren. Yes, I banned the father of my child from holding my baby, because sometimes husbands need timeouts.
Controlling this mama bear is hard! No, one is safe from a mothers fury. I’m slowly getting better at not letting rage sweep over me, but boy is it difficult. I’ve started to think before my natural instinct to protect my baby sweeps in, and put myself in that persons shoes, how terrible they must feel, being made feel worse is never the answer. Sometimes we have to push that mama bear down and just be a little bit kinder.
Being a parent is hard, but so worth it, being supportive towards your partner is the best way to be a stronger team. Everyone always told me I’m bad at sharing, but I shared a body with Arren for 9 months with almost no complaint. This need to protect them is strong, but sometimes our partners, just need to know that they are doing a great job too.