Musings Of First Time Parents – The First Month with a Newborn

The first month with little Arren has been a complete whirlwind.  It’s somehow been the shortest yet longest time of my life.  I personally didn’t know my body could run on such little sleep and still be able to care for someone else so well, even be slightly entertaining.  I mean the songs you start to sing once you have a baby will have you think maybe you should go into a music career? but we all know that’s just lack of sleep talking.

Carl and I just can’t believe how such a little person can dislike him so much.  Little Arren has claimed his mommy and just shows his dislike for Carl the whole time.  Arren will also not be fooled into being held by his dad when he’s wearing a mommy milk covered shirt or blanky.  He’s too smart for that!  We’ve decided to stockholm syndrome our son into liking Carl.  Every time I nurse Arren, Carl creepily lurks and forces Arren to make eye contact with him,  believe me Arren hates it! Soon this little guy will be forced to love his dad….

It doesn’t help that Carl gave Arren the biggest fright of his little life so far!  By laughing!  We were watching SNL and Carl laughed so hard that, little Arren went into purple screaming and wouldn’t stop for so long!  I finally managed to calm him down, but we decided that Alec Baldwin is way to funny to watch around Arren.

So here are some of our musings of new parents.  Please note these are honest musings, meant to be amusing.  We love Arren a lot, and he made our lives better and complete, but man is it hard!

MUSINGS OF NEW PARENTS

 

  1. Do not throw away any ugly blankets or outfits that you get from colleagues, family or friends. You can use these to wipe up pee or poop or use as a changing mat cover; just because you are busy changing the diaper doesn’t mean that baby has finished peeing.
  1. You as a new parent know better than any parent before you. The internet is your friend.
  1. Everything can be made into a song.
  1. An exercise ball is a lifesaver for bouncing. Babies love to bounce, don’t you dare stop bouncing.
  1. You will get pee and poo on you. Boys are gross.  I’ve turned my back for a second only to have had pee on my back and hair.
  1. You will talk about poo a lot. Like all the time.  This is your new life.
  1. You wouldn’t have guessed that such a little person can go through so much laundry and that your laundry has quadrupled.  Drowning in laundry everyday.
  1. Sometimes white noise is too white and your baby just want’s some rap music to console him.
  1. There will be a moment when you think you have finally gotten the hang of it and then your baby will wake up, scream in your face, like he has never seen you before, and be inconsolable.
  1. There will be a moment when you feel like giving up and that everything is too much and then your baby will give you a fleeting smile( around one month) and then it makes everything worth it.  Your baby is a sadist.
  1. You will do everything possible to get that smile again. You will be silly, you will beg, you will negotiate.
  1. After dancing with your baby and bouncing for two hours, you think he is finally asleep, so you put him down, only for him to wake up and to start the process again.
  1. You will lie and tell people your baby sleeps great, not mentioning that it happens about two nights a week.
  1. Babies want constant entertainment, even when they aren’t able to show appreciation, they want to walked around and have everything explained to them.
  1. You will get to know every corner of your house.
  1. Your baby is now your exercise equipment, and only gets heavier with time.
  1. When you air dry your baby, you will probably end up getting pee or poo on you.
  1. The first bath time, is one of the scariest moments of your life.  You have no idea what to expect.
  1. The first month is all about surviving, you will be sleep deprived, you will turn on each other.
  1. Sleep when they sleep, we haven’t, but you should.
  1. Colic is a real thing and sometimes it just happens, regardless of what you eat and don’t eat.
  1. You will google everything to find out if it is normal, and then be terrified of IDS.
  1. Your baby’s first outing will be nerve racking, a car trip can get your baby to sleep, but a noise in a mall can wake him up super quickly.

 

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